Wednesday, May 14, 2014

习惯的惯 It's becoming part of my life

Ten years. It's been almost ten years or more, probably going eleven. I have already stop counting on the days.

Sometimes I do believe in equality and well-balance in every living. God given you something pretty and unique, but God will make sure there you pay for it. Well, you don't get things for free, every single thing in this world has an in-out kind of transaction way, you have this, you will lose that; you have an apple, fine, berries got to be in another's hand. Nothing comes in perfectly complete, just as human being, none has no total perfection.

I have fair and beautiful skin looking, but I have serious skin allergy, which stranger sees and screams when they first see me.

This allergy triggers by almost every single thing. Every thing as in no matter what food, environment or things...seafood, wind, dirty or ashy, polluted air, nuts and etc.....it triggers itself on my body nearly every night and wake up dawn time.

Now what's this stupid allergy that bothers me so much? People commonly called it hives. The hives' rash usually appears suddenly and can affect any area of skin, yes any part any area of my body skin. You could never imagine the pain that I suffer every single day. I am little lazy explaining, maybe you can see below for details,








Why don't I cure it? Hell no! For God sake of course I did try! I been trying several ways to ease the stupid rash, but unfortunately it couldn't, unless I take western medicine (yes I called the one western medicine, for Chinese we believe in traditional herbal medicine, and this is why we names it western and traditional eastern medicine). One of the way of treatment as below, which I don't take much as it makes me feel so much uncomfortable after consumed it,







Well, I do found some kind of Chinese herbal medicine effects and ease my pain. Biological name is C. Nutons, Chinese called it 优盾草. We planted it at my mum's house garden. Once every 1-2 months we will pluck and and boil for my herbal bath. And when the bush isn't grow that well (probably due rainfall or over heat sun), we will just pluck a few leaf and blend with green apples, then drink it. Oh another point to add, yes some says this C. Nutons blend with green apples could really cure cancer!

But again, remember I said things were never be in perfectly complete. I consume this C. Nutons, my allergy stop, my skin feels better, but the "cold" of the herbal will cause my backache and bone aching very seriously. That's partial reason I don't eat that often say weekly, I would probably dead half way sleeping due over aching bones hah!

Hmm, It's been two months after wed, I did not have any chance or time to stay at my home sweet mummy's home, which means yeah, I have stop consuming this herbal thing for 2 months long. My allergy skin becoming more and more serious as day goes by, until I have total fed up on the rash.

Last two days after bath,



Last week body, after work and back home, saw this...



And today morning,



Dear Lord, please cure and ease my rash and stop me from suffering day and night non stop. :'(

Monday, May 12, 2014

五月夜

已经数不清第几次。

哩个问题由以前到现在,好似从未进化过。

人,有分很多种类。有些很纯真,有些很邪恶,有些很爽快,有些喜欢扮野。你,已归类那一种?又或者你找到“真你”吗?

好久以前我已经找到我自己,我是一只披着羊皮的狼,我也是一只披着狼皮的羊。每个人都有最少两种脸口,我想,我最少有着5种?不,可能7-8种。你可以说原来我很掩饰装扮,可生活在这猪也可以把老虎也给吃了的世界,你在不对自己狠点,下回吃掉你的可能是只蜗牛。

工作上的我,长扮演得很严厉、常和老板伙伴唱反调,为的只是执行公理,你会觉得我浪费时间,哎哟反正公司不是我的,吵来有何用?可是到头来能往上爬的,可能只有我。对,我用尽脑汁急口才吹水本领私下猛学习,为的是往上爬,光宗耀祖。可有时的我恨透了这感觉,因为我不会有几个知心同事,也不知本来的善良去了哪里?

最喜欢在妈妈家的我,除了不喜欢老妈唠叨外,最喜欢卸下外面那层妆,在家里讲话不需用脑,不需担心得罪人,可以随意讲负气话来气老爸老妈,可以很原装的我每一刻都撒老爸老妈娇。可有时外头遇到大挫折都要打匾鼻子冲厉害,还要常对老爸老妈说我有几厉害几野蛮,为的就是要老爸老妈不用担心我 一人在外。当然一半是要面子,一半当然都和你一样,不想他们担心。可就因为依赖惯了,说话态度也嚣张无比,有时伤了他们心也不好意思说句对不起。

有时对朋友就带个面具,明明不喜欢也被逼说喜欢,为的是不想他们一番好意,结果我的不识抬举搞得不愉快,结果唯有自己不愉快。他们问一,我回答一,为的是看他们的笑脸。做人,有时何必太认真?和睦相处也不难,虽然不是真我,但我的一句应同换来笑声也还蛮值回票价。做人很需太认真?

有时对于老伴,虽然很讨厌,也要说没事。老伴对你好不是必然,他已经迁就我一切一切的坏习惯,坏脾气,坏动作,坏心肠,坏人格,坏嘴巴,可本来是我的错,就是要吵吵闹闹后还来哄我,这种伴侣,哪找呀?虽然老伴身边太多太多的事务另我不开心,甚至想过离开,一走了之。可到头来,伤的不是二妈三婆,伤的是我伴侣。既然让一步,迁就些,扮白痴说梦话是极不愿的事,是一辈子最讨厌的事,是最不自己的事。。可伤的只有我一人,而且伤心不伤肉,对于舞台剧女王的我,有什么大不了?

对、我有太多面孔,不需你的理解,也不需你的承认。人活了就是要为自己、为你爱的家人。就算人格分离,又有何谓?有失必有得,不亏些,就看不到下一道彩虹。虽然心是必伤之路,可泪飚后,有啥大不了?

Lord says, nothing is impossible, believing it grants you power to your impossible. 😊✌️